A Glimpse of Meditation

Being in complete silence for three days seemed daunting to start with...as did sitting cross-legged in a 40-minute long meditation session. Twenty-two such sessions later, which is about 15 hours' worth of sitting, cursing the pain in my back, feeling my knees might crack any second, and constantly trying to watch my breath...I am ready to do it all again.

This half-marathon of meditation is called OSHO Vipassana. Vipassana itself was created by Gotama Buddha about 2500 years ago. And the Indian mystic Osho devised a variation of Vipassana, combined with his active (dancing, jumping, cathartic) meditations that suit the Western man. Also, discourses from Osho are played throughout the retreat, which are tangible and immediate pieces of guidance.

It was excruciating to be watching the mind during these three days. On the first day, alongside with the acute physical discomfort, a flood of junk bombarded my head. Neck, shoulders, wrists, knees, back, fear, ramblings, judgments, ego trips, oh if only-s , oh I wish-s, should-have-would-haves...begging for the bell to ring and the sitting be over. The day of trying to watch every in- and outbreath seemed never ending; it was only the beginning.

The second day was different, kind of. Like the first, but with a frosting of drowsiness (7 am start every morning). According to a few loud snores rolling in the room, the sleepiness was shared by the group. And, there was ravenous hunger...you would have thought sitting and doing nothing is a low energy exercise. When not fighting against sleep, I noticed my thoughts became more gentle in how they flooded the head, they came one at a time, and were on plans, ideas, fantasies, insights; becoming more positive, yet still incessant. I persisted and stayed for an optional sitting, allowing an extra 40 minutes of watchfulness to happen.

The last day was when I got a glimpse of what meditation can be like. Osho spoke about being a watcher, a witness to happiness, a witness to sadness, a witness to hunger, a witness to tiredness. The body ached less and less, I have devised a cunning system to keep the drowsiness at bay, and oh joy...a couple of breaths in a row...no thoughts...just me...no thoughts. Now I was begging for more time with myself, for the bell not to ring and give me another chance.

I'm glad it's over, and I want to do it again. The silence, the discipline, the watchfulness, Osho's guidance, the space that is there when not occupied by thoughts, the ego kicks - would not change a minute of it! Not ready for the 10-day Buddhist traditional Vipassana though, who knows, one day...